foto: www.huffingtonpost.co.uk

Like millions?

Someone has honestly said that I have too much on my plate. That's hillarious. In a pathetic way.

I am a person who want to beat myself everyday and actually doesn't need someone to tell me that fact. I've already know. But, who cares enough to take some things from there?

It is not easy for me to say YES to others (I've learned so much about this) but saying NO to myself is rough.

Maybe someone out there having the same feeling?

There so many nights I came home late and looking at my sleeping son. My heart broke and broke again.

So, for all the people who just jumping into a woman's life and judging her life as a working mother, you have to try fighting the same battle we do everyday. Leaving our own kids to someone else at home definitely not something to be proud of.

But the question is the same for all moms. How many times do you feel like want to be a perfect mom?

foto: www.faktor.mk

I hate to write about this but after a deep calculation of the possibility of my boss reading my blog, I give it a shot.

Yeah, you read the title right. As a working mother, crying at office should be something 'normal' but I tend to disagree with that. I know of dozen reasons we can be so sentimental about. Kids are sick at home, nanny's issue, or just some misunderstanding dialogue with husband about who supposed to take the day off to take care of the children. And when you come to office with all of them, nothing could be worse than another misleading communication with your boss or staff. That's are the best reason for some employer to not hiring women.
But still, in my opinion women should be as professional as men at work. Eventually, I have to admit that it's in our blood as woman to cry. At least in the women's toilet.

Last week, I did successively cry in front of my boss. After a series of women's toilet crying, this is definitely CRY. He remember to offer me a tissue but he kept continue his speech of what I should do and I didn't. I had nothing to say. Some part of his words are correct (that it was my mistake), but at some point I feel like it's not fair. He's very good at making me feel bad and useless. All I do is to help him, but it seems I did nothing. And the best part is, he said that he doesn't want me to have traumatic experience with him, but I answered (in mind) 'You are too late, Sir. Like a several months late. I've already had trauma since the first week I directly work with you.'

And a week later, in a waay better mood he asked me: Do you hate me?
I don't know where the gut comes from but I did answer: No pak, I don't hate you. But sometimes I hate being work with you.

Guess what, I didn't get fired. Thanks God.
Instead, we had a quite nice conversation about what really happen between me and him as an employee to her boss. He said that he trust me to do the best, and the thing is whenever I have something to discuss with him, it's like my fear of his presence is too much more than my effort to really give a good idea about some project. He even said that our relationship is more of Student-Professor relationship than Employee-Boss.

Ha!

So it is about my age all the time. Hehe. Just kidding. No, my point is crying at office is not always something bad. I know it depends on the boss and company culture. Crying is one of our emotional act as a woman and when you have a little emotional bond with your job, or everything you work on, may be you love them more than you know.

Everytime I have a problem at work, I want to run away. You know, after all those days and working hours leaving my son at home, I really need a very good reason why I still choose to be a working mother. Loving my job is fair enough.

Let's cry at work!